The Tale of the Shadow Man: A Hellsing Alternate Cut
by joinmarch76
Summary: We all know the tale of Alucard and his battles with Millennium, but what if a different character was added in to the mix?


The Tale of the Shadow Man: A Hellsing Alternate Cut

Chapter One: The Second Hunter

We all know the exploits of Alucard, both in comics, anime, OVA and even Abridged, but nary a soul alive knows the words of Louis Huxfeather. To make a long story short, the man was once human, but was slaughtered by Nazis creating a vampire army. He was saved by a 15 year-old boy named Walter, and a vampire named Alucard. In the hospital, he was saved by a condemned priest named Iscariot, and was turned into a demon.

He's not a vampire, but has a few parallels. Most notably, the ability to walk through any surface via his shadow. However, that's where similarities end. He's immune to most holy weapons, say for holy artifacts coveted by the Catholic Church. The only catch with these powers is he can only use them on those who'd harm Earth, not on civilians or those working for Earth's relative safety. In time, he founded the Earth Defense League, a band of both monsters and men tasked with larger scale operations to make this more possible.

This took him over twenty years, and would eventually lead him to being a benefactor for a family also tasked with Earth's protection: Hellsing. There, he was reunited with his old colleagues; Walter, and Alucard. But not without some baggage; he found himself with a rival in the form of Alexander Anderson, the only man who could best him in the field of honor.

Now that we're done playing catch-up, we truly open in Essex, where a man looking like something out of the 40's walks through a graveyard in search for a vampire that was making ghouls disguised as as a Catholic priest. Needless to say, this didn't get unnoticed by the Catholic Church, and they sent one of their Iscariot officers to attack the vampire themselves.

Louis: Alright, buster, show yourself! I know you're here, I can feel your breath!

To the man's surprise, it's not the vampire, but a Japanese woman wearing a nun outfit.

Louis: Whoa, wait, you're not my target!

The Japanese woman nodded and brings out her sword.

Louis: Whoa, look, Sister Whateverthehellyournameis, I don't want any trouble! I'm just here working for my client to keep the peace in England. Now kindly point that oversized butter knife somewhere else. Someone could get hurt using that thing!

The woman smirked and put away her sword: It's Yumiko, if you must know. Just who are you, anyway?

Louis: The name's Louis Huxfeather, but you can just call me the Shadow Man.

This made Yumiko step back a little, about to bring out her sword again.

Louis: I see my reputation proceeds me. There's no need for violence, my dear, I'm just here on behalf of Hellsing to kill the vampire causing chaos in Essex. Nasty ghoul outbreak, maybe you've heard of it.

Yumiko: If you're here about the ghouls I guess I can't afford be picky with who else is here to deal with them...

Louis: Now there's a clever girl! So, where IS our little...host, let's call him?

Yumiko: He's dead, I lobbed his head off and stabbed his heart.

Louis: Okay...so, then where the hell are all the-

The ghouls begin to emerge, shambling towards them!

Louis: Well, ask a silly question...

He reveals a sword is concealed in his cane, and chops three ghouls' heads clean off at once.

Louis: Not bad if I do say so meself.

This continued for a good two hours; eventually, Louis hears something in his earpiece.

?: Louis, this is Walter. Report back immediately, we have a problem.

Louis: Don't tell me, Anderson tried killing Alucard and failed, AGAIN?

?: Worse. We shall explain everything when you return, but get back to London immediately.

Louis: Worse than Maxwell? This I gotta see! Sorry, Yumiko-san, we must do this again soon. But I gotta get goin'; something's going on back at HQ.

He seems to disappear into the shadows and reappears beside two noteworthy Hellsing members; Seras Victoria (a.k.a. Police Girl) and the top vampire himself, Alucard.

Louis: Aw, I was hoping some vampire schmucks tried storming the mansion again!

Alucard: If that were the case, they'd already all be dead by now.

Louis: Rub it in, why don'tcha... Alright, what happened THIS time?

Walter: Short version is we have a new vampire, and some...financial trouble.

Louis: *raises eyebrow* Beg your pardon?

Integra: Look beside Alucard, and you shall see her.

Louis turns to see Seras in disbelief: Wait, THIS is a vampire? And she's not being disemboweled by Alucard WHY?

Alucard: Oh, right, how rude of me! Police Girl, this is Louis, a pal of mine. Louie, this is Police Girl, my new protege!

Louis: YOU...with a protege... Error: 404 File not Found!

Alucard: Hey, to be fair, I DID kinda shoot her in the heart to kill a vampire priest in Cheddar.

Louis: ...Okay. Wait, financial problems? Last I checked, our finances were handled by Her Majesty.

Integra: So did we, but we've called an emergency meeting of Hellsing's highest office-holders.

Louis: Alright, but what does this have to do with us?

Integra: Well, with Alucard being, well, Alucard, we need him out of the way so he doesn't cause another scene. Especially after last month, when he accidentally killed Sir Penwood's daughter after she got attacked by one of our recent vampire surges.

Alucard: Oh, come on, Hannibal did the same thing and got a fucking Oscar out of it!

Integra: Alright, what is it?

Alucard: What is what?

Integra: What is it that I have to do to get you to stay down in your room until they leave?

Alucard: I'm gonna need a new gun. Oh, and one for the Police Girl, too.

Seras: But I already have a gun-

Alucard: Give her a cannon! Bitches LOVE cannons!

Integra: Anything else?

Alucard: A 70 inch, plasma screen TV!

Louis: Ooh, with Netflix!

Walter: Shall it have the 3D feature, sir?

Alucard: NO, THAT'S A STUPID FUCKING GIMMICK, AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT!

Integra: Walter and Seras will be stationed above us, in case anyone gets any bright ideas. Meanwhile, Louis, YOU will be with me for moral support and to reassure out backers that we haven't gone off the deep end.

Louis: *chuckles* What, those old stuffed shirts? This should be fun! *ahem* To hear is to obey, my dear. *bows in respect*

To Be Continued...


End file.
